What to do about your friend who is always running late


Here are four ways to help them be on time.

  • We all have that friend that shows up an hour late to the party. You want them to be part of things, but you often end up hanging around waiting for them. You aren’t able to do as much because you spend most of the time waiting.

  • Here are four ways to deal with your friend who is always late:

  • 1. Talk to them

  • There are always reasons people are late, and it’s important to talk to your friend and get to the bottom of why they were late. If it happens a lot, there might be some behavior or emotional reasons to their lateness. Talking to them is the best way to resolve their time problem.

  • Some reasons people are late are:

  • They are simply a bad judge of time

  • Dr. Ann Kearney-Cooke, who treats many people with chronic lateness, says, “They always think, ‘I can get this done and I will be there in an hour.’ They don’t get there in an hour.”

  • Talking to them about how important your time and their punctuality is can help them plan better.

  • They are passive aggressive

  • “Some people even show up late as revenge,” says Joseph Ferrari, author of “Still Procrastinating? The No Regrets Guide to Getting It Done.”

  • They are angry with you or another friend in the group, and they want to get back at them by making them wait. If this is the reason for their tardiness, you definitely need to talk to your friend so you can resolve the hurt feelings.

  • There might be other reasons they are struggling to meet with you on time. Talk to your friend. A conversation can go a long way.

  • 2. Set limits

  • Tell them if they are late, you are going to start without them or you can’t wait for them. This is the can be one of the hardest things because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Most people are aware of their tardiness and when given a limit will work harder to be on time.

  • HuffPost suggests informing your friend that you won’t wait more than 10 to 15 minutes pas the scheduled time. Put your expectiations upfront. And when the time is up, give a friendly reminder through a phone call or text.

  • It’s likely that you will only have to do this once. When they realize you are serious, they’ll make an effort to never be late again.

  • 3. Tell them an earlier time

  • If talking to them doesn’t work or if you are afraid to confront them, you can simply tell them an earlier time to come.

  • WikiHow offers a simple solution: “If you need them to arrive somewhere at 6PM, and they are typically more than two hours late, tell them to be there by 4PM. Be aware that should they actually arrive at 4PM, they will be upset with you for misleading them.”

  • If they are upset, this is a perfect chance to explain to them how stressful it is to you when they are late.

  • 4. Don’t rely on them

  • Stop relying on your friend who is always late. If they have been your ride, find someone else. If you are having a birthday party, don’t have them bring the decorations. Your time matters too, and although you want to be kind, you do need to take care of yourself. You will be kinder to them and you will feel happier if you are not relying on your late friend.

  • There are many reasons a person is always late, but no matter the reason, talking to your friend will let them know how much you care about them and what is important to you.

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